5 Ways To Support a Friend Struggling With Their Mental Health

It can be easy to feel helpless or out of your depth with a friend who is experiencing a difficult time with their mental health. I’ve put together a few tips on the ways you can be a better friend to someone whatever they’re going through.

DISCLAIMER: I have drawn from my own experience for this blog post, so therefore it will predominately be centred around depression and anxiety. Although I like to think a lot of these tips are quite transferable to other mental health issues.

1. Let them know you’re there, regardless of what state they are in. Don’t forget about them or make them feel forgotten about. When a person doesn’t feel worthy or deserving of anything, feeling isolated doesn’t help either. Just a little text can make all the difference. I also don’t think we should be afraid of asking straight out, ‘How’s your mental health at the moment?’. Fighting a mental health battle can be a really lonely place, and they might feel like they are lowering the tone in a conversation if they bring it up, so give your friend an opportunity to be honest.

2. Make the effort – My friend Jem tags me and sends me inspiring pictures on Instagram, she does this most days and it’s such a great little pick me up. I know she’s thinking of me, and it helps without me having to do anything. When I was in the midst of depression and felt really low, my sister took me out to get my nails done. She would also make sure we booked things in so that I always had things to look forward to and kept busy. Personally this helps my mental health massively. Sometimes it’s the little things that aren’t necessarily to do with mental health at all that help the most. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to have an impact!

3. That being said, let them know they can be honest with you. Mental Health is the ultimate expert at disintegrating any kind of energy and self-worth. Let them know that their feelings are valid, even if you disagree with their thoughts. Be a sounding board for them and try not to talk about yourself too much. Ask them how you can help them, but be prepared that they might not have an answer, sometimes it feels overwhelming when you don’t even know how to help yourself, let alone advising someone else how to do it.

4. Keep checking in on them. Don’t assume they are ‘all better’ because they seem a bit happier or more confident. Whilst these are definitely things to celebrate, even depressed and anxious people can have good days, and sometimes we can appear ‘up’ around others, but things return to normal once we are alone with our thoughts.

5. Make sure you look after yourself too. As Ed Sheeran says (I think lyrics must be one of my love languages!) ‘Before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself’ – and this is super important! Be mindful of your own mental health, and whilst I’ve stated the importance of making the effort, remember that you can only do so much.

I also recommend checking out Blurt for more info and resources on mental health.

'You're doing Great!' Treatbox Unboxing: February

I always look forward to the first of the month, not just because it's time for a fresh start and there are new things to look forward to, but also because it's the day my Treatbox arrives!

February's Treatbox theme was 'You're Doing Great!' and it was filled with an array of items to aid self-care and productivity, with a few astronomical themed items thrown in too.

Each box contains an illustrated calendar page, with details of the product inside, and a beautifully illustrated quote print. I've pinned this 'Think Happy' print to my mirror, to encourage me to think positively wherever possible. I also loved this 'Shine Bright' notebook. I'm certainly not short on notebooks, but I love these thin ones that you can just slip into your bag, as they're not bulky at all so don't take up much room - perfect for when inspiration strikes!

These Candy Kittens sweets didn't last anymore than 5 minutes after I took this photo! I've never had Candy Kittens sweets before, but I can report that these Sour Watermelon ones were delicious! I also appreciated the size of the package, there were just enough sweets for a sugary treat without giving me a headache!

Hand cream is also another item I'm not short of, but perhaps you can never have too many?! This Dove Intensive Hand Treatment Cream is also the perfect size to put in your bag or bedside table. The current freezing British weather has certainly taken its toll on my skin, so my hands could certainly do with this product. I think items like this are the perfect reminder to take a moment out for a simple mindful activity, that doubles as self-care too.

Anyone who knows me well will know I love all things dotty, so I love these cute paper ribbons! 

I'm still deciding where to put these, but I have a gold dotty feature wall in my room, which I'm sure they'll complement perfectly. Personally, I find that decorating and giving my space that personal touch enables me to feel comfortable and more inspired in my surroundings.

This is my favourite item from this month's Treatbox. I have a lot of jewellery, so I'm always happy to receive another ring dish. As you can see, the dish is a navy blue colour with 'Shine Like the Stars' on it. It's a great size to store and display a few of your favourite pieces.

The last item was a navy blue starry lanyard. I'm not sure what there is to say about lanyards, but I do find them handy for attaching keys or an ID badge, and the pattern makes it easy to find in your bag.

That was February's Treatbox! Thanks for reading :)

Treatbox is a lifestyle subscription box delivered to your door on the first of every month. As you can see, it contains a variety of lifestyle products from various businesses, for just £12 a month.

Visit treatboxuk.com for more details. 

July Treatbox

If you didn't know, I absolutely love a good subscription box! There's just something about getting a few treats among all the bills and reminders that makes getting post exciting again.

Treatbox is sent out at the beginning of the month, and has a different theme every month. I love finding out what the theme is and seeing a range of goodies from brands I haven't heard of yet.

The first thing I noticed when July's Treatbox arrived, was the amazing smell! On opening the box I found this smell was coming from the Pina colada wax melts by Simple Candle Co. I can't wait to start burning these and get my flat smelling lovely and summery. One particular thing I love about Treatbox is how they include products from small businesses, something I'm very passionate about!

The July box also featured a selection of patterned straws with summer toppers. I love these (particularly the Dotty ones of course!) and they make me want to organise a summer party, although as I write this it's raining, how ironic...

This box made me feel very excited for summer! I can't wait to add the special Treatbox addition Pineapple pin badge to my collection for when I finally find a nice denim jacket to add them to. I'm loving adding little additions to my clothing and it makes me feel a little bit more creative and crafty! With this in mind I'm looking forward to using the appliqué iron on patches to jazz up a bit of a boring t-shirt! My friend (and designer) Melissa absolutely loves flamingos - so I'm going to give her the flamingo one

I think I might use the 'My Favourite Things' case to store a few essentials in my bag. As it's transparent it'll make finding things a lot easier!

I only managed to get one picture of the Water Melon sours sweets, as I'd couldn't save them for too long with my sweet tooth! I can report they were lush though! 👌

Of course the cute prints; July calendar page, utterly fabulous flamingo print and cactus print are great. I've started a small gallery wall in my room, so I'm looking forward to adding these unique prints to the collection. I like to use the calendar page for my notice board at work too.

 Do you like subscription boxes? Are there any you'd recommend I check out? Comment below!

'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time' @ The Mayflower, Southampton - Review

On Monday I had the pleasure of seeing ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time’ at The Mayflower, Southampton, and it was absolutely fantastic.

I have to admit I was a little sceptical, as more of a musical person I wasn’t sure how I’d find a play after years of not seeing one, and I was interested to see how the book was transferred to stage, as well as how a person with Autism is portrayed.

Curious Incident tells the story of Christopher (played by Scott Reid), a fifteen year old boy with Autism. One night, Christopher finds his next door neighbour’s dog, Wellington, has been killed with a garden fork, and he sets about on a quest to solve the mystery of who killed Wellington. Yet there’s so much more to it than that, and the audience gains a better understanding of how the world is seen through the eyes of a person with Autism.

The play is based on Mark Haddon’s novel of the same name, and has been adapted for the stage by Simon Stephens. Curious Incident won seven 2013 Olivier awards and five 2015 Tony Awards.

Both my partner and I thoroughly enjoyed the play, and particularly enjoyed how people with Autism were portrayed. There were many times where you could laugh at how exceptionally intelligent Christopher is, yet how he struggles to interpret certain elements of day to day life – his misunderstanding of sarcasm, and the unspoken rules of the British culture.

I have to mention the character of Siobhan (Lucianne McEvoy), who was a particular highlight for me. I loved how the story was narrated by her, in the style of her reading out parts of Christopher’s book, and asking him about it. The effects used and the set were also phenomenal, with the use of the lighting to show where Christopher was – such as when he travelled by tube to London. The small cast were also exceptional - playing multiple characters throughout the play.

I really felt uplifted from seeing the character of Christopher overcome certain obstacles in his daily life, and that even though he may see the world a bit differently, he could still achieve great things. Overall, I found ‘Curious Incident’ to be an utterly fantastic production, with a great combination of cast, set and effects, certainly one not to be missed!

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is showing at The Mayflower until 1^st April 2017, and will soon begin its second tour of the UK and Ireland.

Special thanks to The Mayflower, Southampton for providing the images in this post.

Bits and Bobs

I'm starting a new little section on my blog where I share a few snippets and links that I've been enjoying this month :)

• I'm not usually a fan of mush, but Cosmo certainly spells it out for anyone clueless about what's a suitable romantic gesture these days. Have a look here.
  
• Heartbreak is the absolute worse, but this article really article gives an insight in to what it's like on the other side. To the guy that broke my heart.
  
• I've been inspired to write down Three positives each day, after evaluating my 'glass half full' attitude. I'd encourage you to do the same :)
  
• Game of thrones is back! I'm not completely caught up (still recovering from that Red Wedding episode) but I still can't wait to have Khalessi back on my screen, HelloGiggles breaks it down here.

My time at Mollie Makes and Bristol Adventures

This post is long, long, LONG overdue, but I thought I should fill you in on when I was lucky enough to get work experience at Mollie Makes Magazine!

For 10 days I traveled to and from Bristol to make my way to Immediate Media, the home of Mollie Makes. This often meant getting up early, (5.45 was my earliest wake up time, a big difference when you're used to days off and late starts at uni!) arriving back late, and spending a lot of time on trains!

But this didn't bother me at all, as I was given so many great opportunities. It's so easy to be weighed down with deadlines and a never ending to do list at uni, but being at Mollie Makes really reminded me where my passions lie. I felt really excited to start the day, and was usually one of the last to leave!

Many of my tasks involved taking care of the magazine's social media platforms - on my first day I was asked to get their pinterest boards up to 40 pins, and obviously for a creative person like me this wasn't really a struggle or chore.

I was also able to write posts for the Mollie Makes website, and attend meetings regarding the upcoming issues. I would research upcoming events and put them into an Event list, as well as doing general tasks such as sorting out the post.

At the end of my first week I spent the day in the studio, with the Art Director and Designer. Whilst there I got to be a hand model for a Mollie Makes' 50th issue video, which you can see below. This is probably one of the more random things I've done, and I'm sure if Journalism doesn't work out then there's always hand modelling!

Overall, I absolutely loved my time at Mollie, the staff were such a delight, and I really felt like I could fit in there. Being able to work at a magazine that I love has got me really excited for the future, and when it freaks me out I just remember the passion I felt working there. They also offered me some freelance work, which really boosted my confidence.

To check out my first freelance piece, take a look at Mollie Makes Issue 51, which is on sale now. 

I'm on page 15!

My claim to fame.

Apparently I was Dave's PA? ;)

My Worst Habit

This post is rather more downbeat than my others, but I'm going to write honestly, because if I can't here, where else?

When we think of bad habits, we might think...biting nails, smoking, going back to people that hurt us etc. Mine is a bit different, but common.

I am a serial overthinker.

People might see me as a confident, carefree person who doesn't really care what people think, and yes, sometimes this is me. But other times it is a front I put on to try and protect myself.

I truly envy people who are able to brush off comments, and nothing really phases them. But I'm far from this, I can sometimes dwell on comments, I often compare myself to others, and I over think things a lot, especially in friendship groups and social situations.

Sometimes I think I am surrounded by people who continually don't make the effort, or perhaps I make too much effort? Perhaps I have high expectations of people and what being a friend is. I think sometimes I do try too hard or care too much, and I'm disappointed when I don't get the same back.

Going to uni is hard on friendships, and it's definitely a time when you realize who will always make the effort, who will only see you if you make all the effort and those who forget you exist the minute you leave. This summer I tried to take a step back to realize those that would make the effort, and if people would miss my efforts. I think this is something that does happen naturally when going to uni, but it's sad still.

Unfortunately I do take things quite personally a lot of the time, and I will always look for a reason...perhaps that person doesn't want to see me? Yeah that would make sense...I'm boring, what if they think I don't have a personality? And so continues the spiral, it always comes back to me and what I'm doing wrong.

Over thinking is common, but it is something that can take over your life. It affects your concentration, self esteem and decisions, not to mention it hurts.Obviously I'm not in a very good position to give advice, but I think monitoring your thoughts and stopping them in their tracks when you might start over analyzing helps, as well as trying to keep busy and keep your mind off things. It's a cliche and I find this so difficult, but also get rid of people who don't make you feel 100%.

I'm not writing this post to be depressing or to seek attention, I really just hope I'm not alone in my over thinking, and I hope people will act/think carefully around potential over thinkers. I try not to talk about my over thinking very much, as I worry I seem paranoid (Yep more over thinking!), but I hope this post encourages you to share what you might over think about, so let me know either in the comments section of this post, or where I share it.